Snickers Blizzard - Chicago Style

As a massive blizzard descends upon Chicago tomorrow, all eyes will be on the Windy City to see if the city can rise to the occasion and break its all-time blizzard record of 23-inches set on Jan. 26 and 27, 1967.

I, for one, will be watching intently from chilly 65-degree Los Angeles.

SUCK IT, HAMINGSON

Today is an anniversary of sorts for my family. The second anniversary of the Bleak Year and a Half. Today we're in southern California and enjoying the sunshine and not in NYC shoveling 4-feet of snow. But I'll never forget that day two years ago. And with that, I offer a toast: Suck it, Hamingson, you prickless prick.

FROM GOOGLE TO RICHES

I am about to become a millionaire. My secret? Google Adsense. And it's so simple. Create a website or blog, have Google sponsored ads on your website or blog, sit back and collect millions as readers click on the ads. There are websites, blogs and book after book teaching you the secrets to easy riches.

Well I want you all to know that I am $1.24 from receiving my first $100 check from the Google Adsense Program. And it only took me 5 years. So at this current rate I'll be bathing in millions by the time I'm 50047.

Suck it, you poor suckas.

OH MICHELE

I'm convinced Michele Bachmann is the reincarnated spirit of Andy Kaufman. No one can be that loony tunes without it being an act. And her latest show? Her 100% false, 5-alarm pants on fire statements last Friday at an Iowan's For Tax Relief event.

"It didn’t matter the color of their skin. it didn’t matter their language, it didn’t matter their economic status. It didn’t matter whether they descended from known royalty or are of a higher class or a lower class. It made no difference, once you got here, we were all the same."

All the same. Equals. The No Need To Apply Irish, the Exclusion Act Chinese and the Aren't You Suppose To Be Picking My Cotton Africans. I can't stand how equal they all were.

"But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States. And I think it is high time that we recognize the contribution of our fore-bearers who worked tirelessly, men like John Quincy Adams, who would not rest until slavery was extinguished in the country."

The founders were dead tired when slavery was no more, with the emphasis on dead. Those bastard founding fathers, taking credit for something someone else accomplished. I heard they're trying to take credit for my To-Do list this past weekend.

And is Bachmann saying John Quincy Adams was a founding father? Maybe she means John Adams. John Quincy Adams was not a founding father. John Adams was a founding father. I guess since the name John Adams was already taken, the union made the other John Adams add Quincy to his name.

Maybe Michele should watch 1776. That's where I learned all my American history.

THE NO BLOGGING ZONE

When I lived in Brooklyn, it seemed everyone blogged about Brooklyn. A simple Google search for Brooklyn Blog seems to prove that to be true. But search Studio City Blog and the result is dismal. Nothing, except for the occasional real estate blog. I suppose everyone here is busy writing a TV show or a screenplay.

So, um, I guess that's why I have this blog.

Sigh.

RUSH LIMBAUGH DOES SPOT-ON CHINESE IMPRESSION

Oh no, this is totally appropriate. Not offensive at all.

NO PANTS SUBWAY RIDE 2011

I never thought I'd say it but No Pants Subway Ride 2011 makes me miss NYC.

On Sunday, January 9th, 2011 over 5,000 people took off their pants on subways in 48 cities in 22 countries around the world. In New York, our 10th Annual No Pants Subway Ride had over 3,500 participants, spread out over six meeting points and ten subway lines.

STARBUCKS NEW BLADDER BURSTING TRENTA CUP

Starbucks junkies are celebrating the announcement that the Holy Grail of coffee shops will be rolling out its new monstrous, bladder bursting 31-ounce super-size cup size. The "Trenta" will be 7-ounces larger than the Venti and only 9-ounces smaller than 7-11's Big Gulp.

The Trenta (twice what your bladder can hold) size will debut in 14 states, including Virginia, Georgia, Florida, Texas, Hawaii and Arizona on January 18 and in California on February 1. All Starbucks will have the new size by May 1.

Techno

Sometimes I'm technology-challenged.

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OH HARDY HAR HAR

All day I needed a good laugh. And then I found this couple.

I DO - ON A SESAME SEED BUN

What's more romantic than getting married at a McDonald's? Getting married at a McDonald's in Hong Kong. Starting this month you can have a McWedding at one of three McDonald's in Hong Kong.

Parking: $0.00
Wedding package: $129
Having Mayor McCheese as your wedding officiant: Priceless

No word yet if Burger King or Dairy Queen will follow suit.

GLORIOUS STARBUCKS

Anyone who knows me knows I loves me my Starbucks. So I've started saving my shekels for a trip to Xiamen, China to go to China's largest Starbucks. It's 4-stories of Starbucks goodness.

And while I'm at it, I'll visit the one picture above in ChengDu.

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RIVER VIEW

I went biking with my daughter down by the Los Angeles River today. We live one block from river. It sounds fancy and would be great if it looked like this -

Or this -


Or this -
But it doesn't. It looks like this -


You can't have everything, I suppose.

NO VIOLENCE HERE

The Gabrielle Giffords shooting has opened a huge can of worms about the rise of violence and anger in our politics.

DeAnn Hatch, co-founder of the Tucson Tea Party, said, “I want to strongly, strongly say we absolutely do not advocate violence.”

Judson Phillips, founder of the Tea Party Nation, wrote on his website, "No one should be a victim of violence because of their political beliefs...but no matter what the shooter’s motivations were, the left is going to blame this on the Tea Party movement."

And can you blame the left for blaming the Tea Party?

DeAnn and Judson, here's a reminder of your non-violence advocating rallies.

LEFT IN THE SHIRE

I used to write a blog called Left in Bay Ridge. Bay Ridge is a mostly Republican neighborhood in Brooklyn, NY. My wife worked in Manhattan. I was left, literally and politically, in Bay Ridge. This is Bay Ridge:



This past August we moved to Los Angeles. Studio City, to be exact. This is LA:


I call Studio City "The Shire." I'm like a hobbit. I don't leave the Shire. Everything I need is here. Plus, we have yet to buy a second car, so I can't go too far. I either walk or ride my bike.

My wife works in Long Beach.
The neighborhood bleeds Liberals.
And I am Left in the Shire.