OH MICHELE

I'm convinced Michele Bachmann is the reincarnated spirit of Andy Kaufman. No one can be that loony tunes without it being an act. And her latest show? Her 100% false, 5-alarm pants on fire statements last Friday at an Iowan's For Tax Relief event.

"It didn’t matter the color of their skin. it didn’t matter their language, it didn’t matter their economic status. It didn’t matter whether they descended from known royalty or are of a higher class or a lower class. It made no difference, once you got here, we were all the same."

All the same. Equals. The No Need To Apply Irish, the Exclusion Act Chinese and the Aren't You Suppose To Be Picking My Cotton Africans. I can't stand how equal they all were.

"But we also know that the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more in the United States. And I think it is high time that we recognize the contribution of our fore-bearers who worked tirelessly, men like John Quincy Adams, who would not rest until slavery was extinguished in the country."

The founders were dead tired when slavery was no more, with the emphasis on dead. Those bastard founding fathers, taking credit for something someone else accomplished. I heard they're trying to take credit for my To-Do list this past weekend.

And is Bachmann saying John Quincy Adams was a founding father? Maybe she means John Adams. John Quincy Adams was not a founding father. John Adams was a founding father. I guess since the name John Adams was already taken, the union made the other John Adams add Quincy to his name.

Maybe Michele should watch 1776. That's where I learned all my American history.