CHINESE PROTITS - UM - PROTESTS

You got to hand it to the Chinese. They sure know how to protest. I'll protect those islands any day.


Photo courtesy CRI

BREAST MASSEUR

Okay, time for a career change. After reading how Xia Jun became the first man in China to be a certified Breast Masseur after only 3-months of training, I'm packing my bags and heading to China with a dream to be the second certified Breast Masseur.

And for those of you who think it's just about the chance to fondle breasts, look at the reasoning of Xia.

Xia has stated that having his female employees sent for the same training would not be a wise investment, citing fears of high employee turnover after acquiring new breast-massaging techniques. Instead, Xia wisely suggests that it'd be more cost efficient to have his male managers teach his female employees the necessary breast-massage techniques.

See? Teach the men how to do it and they can teach the women, because if you send women to be trained they'll leave their jobs to be professional Breast Massage Therapists, as opposed to sending the men to learn and then teach the women because then the women won't leave their jobs. Totally makes sense.

Photo courtesy Shanghaist or some creepy lurking guy.

Happy New -- What the Hell!?

You'd think the Chinese, the people who invented fireworks, would know how to use them correctly. But a fire caused by fireworks gutted a five-star hotel in Shenyang, capital of northeast China's Liaoning Province.

The hotel could have been saved but -

"fire engines, whose water guns could jet water only 50 meters high, were helpless at the fire which flamed on the top of Tower A, 219 meters high."

What the hell? Didn't anyone think that scenario through? Someone at either the Ministry of Hoses or the Ministry of Towers messed up big time.

No one was hurt but the Xinhua News took a catty swipe at the hotel's guests -

"All the 50-odd people in the hotel were evacuated."

Maybe it was an Odd Couples convention.

RUSH LIMBAUGH DOES SPOT-ON CHINESE IMPRESSION

Oh no, this is totally appropriate. Not offensive at all.

I DO - ON A SESAME SEED BUN

What's more romantic than getting married at a McDonald's? Getting married at a McDonald's in Hong Kong. Starting this month you can have a McWedding at one of three McDonald's in Hong Kong.

Parking: $0.00
Wedding package: $129
Having Mayor McCheese as your wedding officiant: Priceless

No word yet if Burger King or Dairy Queen will follow suit.

GLORIOUS STARBUCKS

Anyone who knows me knows I loves me my Starbucks. So I've started saving my shekels for a trip to Xiamen, China to go to China's largest Starbucks. It's 4-stories of Starbucks goodness.

And while I'm at it, I'll visit the one picture above in ChengDu.

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